Time for Atheist Prayers at Town Meetings

atheist prayerI have a relative, of sorts, who thinks their religion is being oppressed because they can’t drag out family gathering dinner prayers to something more than a couple of sentences followed by an hour of intense theological fornication. They forget the family is composed of a number of religious alliances ranging from Episcopalian, Buddhism, atheist, secular, and spiritual but not religious, including their own version which though unnamed seems intensely devout, perhaps an old time Anglican Crack.

Since a family is scalable to a community the Supreme Court in its infinite wisdom has shown us a way through this mess. We’ll just allow leaders to choose whichever invocation they choose without regard to the rest.

Exclusion is the new inclusion.

While I had hoped for something nondenominational that would inspire, motivate, and commingle all of us that seems to be too much to bear for even those of us who actually proclaim love for each other, one another.

We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the benefits of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, did ordain and establish the Constitution of the United States of America and do swear to uphold and stand by it.

Too nationalistic, need a jingo?

Be good to each other, don’t overcook the rice & engage in dialog.

Doesn’t really get to the point, no teeth.

Dammit, leave everyone to their own philosophies unless they are hurting others.

Something more female?

Not for ourselves alone.

Abandoning that pipe dream I may need to come up with a secular prayer that is equally exclusive to those who don’t share my world-view. I need to fit in the group and show I am as exclusive and ostracizing as they are. There’s a compassionate, gracious, generous side of me that wants to get along, silence myself, be invisible, and keep drinking near-free liquor.

Nawww, if religion is now a competition of the right sort of religion then how is excluding myself from their game of exclusivity helpful? There is no time to have everyone do their own invocation though I have always liked the circle where everyone says quickly something they think is pertinent, whatever that means. The good part is I have a little time to write and memorize an appropriate competitive invocation.

It’s really hard to do this when they invoke Jesus and god and all those all powerful beings that know everything and will doom me to damnation, not being with god, if I don’t find him, her, it. But I’ll try a few over the next few months and see if something sounds right. It’s hard because it should’t be mocking but a sincere love and concern that others be saved through reason. Humor is never taken seriously. No, let’s get it right out, privacy, personal choice, love, be damned. As Justice Roberts demands, there must be unfettered prayer.

Dear Bill, Neil, Richard, Giovanni, and Charles thank you for being out.

Thank you for seeking the truth so that we may be encouraged with your good results, verified by others.

Thanks to all of the scientists, rationalists, and people of reason who proved religion to be wrong headed and immoral.

May others see your beneficial evidence and banish their bias, bigotry, and prejudice.

May we continue to enjoy the fruits of your research to make better solar panels and technologies to ameliorate global warming.

May we listen to our sisters and partners and heed their reproductive rights.

May we no longer concern ourselves with how people love each other, as long as it is consensual and safe.

Protect us from those who would arm themselves against us. Make arms and weapon use safe from everyone.

Protect us from the rapacious evils of inequality but especially those who earn 1,000 times more than the average. Let no one suffer because there is no work to do, they are ill, or they are disenfranchised.

Teach us to remove the blindness of false spirits, empty ghosts, and nihilistic gods from our eyes that we may see the beauty that is for all.

Let us seek justice here and now so that justice may not be for the dead alone. 

Let us be a community of peace, a safe haven for ourselves not alone.

In the name of the modern apostles Harris, Dawkins, Hitchens, Dennett, and Ali let us give thanks for reason, knowledge, and wisdom through evidence available to all.

Right on brothers and sisters!

Thank you very much. There will be an hour of critical thinking study after dinner.

Aaah well, just a first attempt. Is there a Toastmasters for atheists?

Jim Newman, bright and well www.frontiersofreason.com

Why I am an Atheist, Faith of the Fatherless

Jill-FreudI have always wondered why I am an atheist. So many of my friends seem to have been born Catholic, or Methodist, or Episcopalian. I never lived in an atheist country, an atheist community, or an atheist family. If you are where you were born then I must be Swiss, hmm, that’s a country and I must have been born a Presbyterian because that was the church closest to where we lived in Lausanne those early years. It was on the way down to the park. I guess that makes me a “Swiss Presbyterian By A Park.”

Just kidding folks. I am an atheist because I didn’t have a father. Yup, all these years I been wondering why I don’t believe, never did, never will. Turns out because I didn’t have a father I resent the patriarchy of the bible and refuse to recognize the lord as my father. You see because I hate my father, because he left, I can’t give the proper authority to male figures. I don’t respect authority because my father left.

Not only that but I am a misogynist because I hate my mother because she must have pushed my father away. She never speaks of it but I know that a good man, a father, would never leave unless he had been pushed away. So that’s why in spite of all my so called maternal support I can never have a good relationship with any gender(s). Yet, surely I see myself as a woman as well because I don’t have the ability to demand the respect I deserve and am complicit in the female’s role of castrating men. Not only do I castrate others but myself too!

I learned all this recently in a review of Dr Paul Vitz’s fine new book “FAITH OF THE FATHERLESS: The Psychology of Atheism.” I’d read it but I’m scared it might make me even more atheistic, militant, even.

Now, Dr Vitz backs this up with the esteemed Dr Freud.

Sigmund Freud claimed that once a child or youth is disappointed in or loses respect for his earthly father, belief in a heavenly father becomes impossible.

I know Freud is right because like he said I would, I just don’t like men very much. In spite of my enjoying women, I overcame my loathing for my mother’s rejection of my father by the overriding lack of respect that my father didn’t overcome his family and stay with my mother. It’s so simple. Just like always seeing penises in columns and vaginas in flowers. I have to masturbate a lot because I can’t overcome my aversion to women as a father-husband that should take what he wants because he’s due respect but I can’t since I have no respect. I digress.

Being disappointed in one’s earthly father, whether through death, absence or mistreatment, often leads to a rejection of God. The crisis of fatherhood in our culture has us in the midst of a 500-year period of adolescence that glorifies aggression and sexual exploitation, according to Vitz.

It’s all because of that divorce. No divorce, I would have had respect. In my case it was both absence and abuse. You see my mother tortured my father by not becoming an orthodox Jew. So you see why I hate women and men all the more because of this dual absence. I am sure this explains my contrarianism and misandry as well. I can’t respect anyone so I hate them all.

But I seem to be in good company of a long history.

A biographical survey of influential atheists of the past four centuries — Freud, Friedrich Nietzche, Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins, among many others — shows that this “defective father hypothesis” provides a consistent explanation of the “intense atheism” of these thinkers. A survey of the leading defenders of Christianity over the same period — G.K. Chesterton, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Edmund Burke, among others — confirms the hypothesis, finding few defective fathers. Vitz concludes with an intriguing comparison of male and female atheists and a consideration of other psychological factors that can contribute to atheism.

He provides an exposition of the psychological factors predisposing a person to atheism and strongly confirms the essential importance of the role of a good father in a family.

Oh, wait, sorry, confused. I was saying I’m in bad company because my soul-mates, fellow atheists, also had terrible, defective fathers. Doubly damned because a single woman can’t possibly raise good children. My mother didn’t remarry until after I left home so I could not ever have gained respect for a father. Unlike Dr Vitz who apparently had a bad father, since he was an atheist, but must have found a good father because he quit being an atheist at 30. Dr Vitz is not alone in his theory.

In deploying Freudian theory against atheism itself, Paul Vitz has proven beyond a doubt what’s missing from secular accounts of secularization, namely, actual human beings,” says cultural commentator Mary Eberstadt. “His thesis is intellectual jujutsu of the first order.”

It’ so true. There is a paucity, a dearth, a fatherless-driven negation of human beings in secular accounts of secularism. So sad really. All of us fine boys wishing we had fathers to respect. How am I to be a good father when I didn’t have a father? It’s like abuse that runs in family lines. I’m sure my lack of respect for fathers will cause my son to be absent and my girls to choose absent or abusive fathers. Who will break this string of suffering?

The solution must be more love and more encouragement from the bible. Yes, if I only understood better god’s love for me I might regain respect for fathers and men in general. I might also be more forgiving of my hate for my mother because though it is her fault I have no father, at least she tried, though failed, in being a father for me.

I remember once in Corpus Christi Texas, on Father’s Day, I gave a card to my mother and she was so surprised and disturbed. I thought she should be honored as if a father since she had to raise me without one. Hence my ongoing gender confusion resulting in a heteronormative complex rejection while maintaining a typical family. Yet also why I support LGBTQ issues because I have conflated men and women as fathers and mothers. I wanted to marry a lesbian so I could resolve this dissonance. I would be gay but as extension of my lack of respect for men is also my inability to see males as partners. I can’t possibly love a man nor a woman but must remain in a humorless limbo. Hence my cynicism and dislike of banal positivity.

Mother was disturbed that I would take her as a father. This led to even more atheism because of her ongoing rejection of fatherhood, not remarrying, and because she was disturbed at my  concern for my father–she had to experience her ongoing inadequacy which I saw as further lack of respect because I had already conflated her as a father. A feedback loop leading to greater stridence in my atheist insistence and politicalization as I grew more old. Add to that my noncareer in philosophy which is a pathetic attempt at my trying to elevate my lack of understanding of respect by refusing the lord, much less abusurdism, existentialism, and deconstructionism which are my own selfcastrations of meaning as possibility.

All I’m looking for is a little respect. You see it is my self loathing at a father who also must have rejected me that still further confuses my need for respect. How can I demand respect when I have been so castrated by my father who left and my mother who caused his absence and castrated me as well by her rejection of required respect? I end up just looking for more sex and a bigger dick.

So, I’m putting it out there. Will someone be my father so I can get back on track and not be an atheist anymore?

Jim Newman, bright and well


David Barton and Kenneth Copeland on Biblical Cure of PTSD

bartonFriends and neighbors, we have discovered a new, old cure, reason for PTSD. Soldiers fighting a just war belong to the biblical hall of fame and need to understand they are elevated. They no longer need to condemn themselves. All you have to do is read the bible and you will know you are of David’s army and the righteous are elevated to a biblical platform, an elevated hall of fame. Don’t need no drugs, don’t need no psychology, don’t need no doctors. Just reading the bible and knowing you are a just hero will cure you because you were never sick, you just didn’t acknowledge your god. Your sin of feeling blame is to blame.

Numbers 32 says  soldiers “shall return and be guiltless before the Lord.” As long as you are guiltless you can’t have PTSD and any guilt you feel is because you do not understand you belong to the faith hall of fame. It’s a devil’s mind trick.

In case you are wondering what a just war is. Any war that promotes the bible and conquers those who don’t believe is a just war. Any war asked by god is just. That’s why we didn’t have PTSD back in WWII or WWI, it was a just war and those boys felt blameless. Now, these wars now are just as important but soldiers go into it with secular values and because of that they feel guilt and get PTSD. If these soldiers understood their mission was god’s mission, if we got back to realizing these wars are just wars for god’s will then there wouldn’t be PTSD.

It’s really that simple folks. Those suffering boys need to get over their guilt, need to conquer their feelings of doubt, need to know in their heart they are god’s soldiers. Once they truly know they are elevated not only will the guilt disappear but pride will replace their self condemnation and the PTSD evaporates.

Do you think David had PTSD after fighting Goliath? Do you think Moses suffered from poor sleep and nightmares? It wasn’t until this country doubted the justness of our wars that PTSD appeared, a sin against the lord. It is god’s curse on those who don’t embrace faith and once you embrace your being a hero of faith, you will be healed as if you had never been sick, as if you had never sinned.

Now, I know the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Baptist Liberty Commission has said Copeland and Barton are “profoundly ignorant about theology and history” but these fine historians are only quoting the bible and that’s not ignorant.

Then Moses said to them: “If you do this thing, if you arm yourselves before the Lord for the war, 21 and all your armed men cross over the Jordan before the Lord until He has driven out His enemies from before Him, 22 and the land is subdued before the Lord, then afterward you may return and be blameless before the Lord and before Israel; and this land shall be your possession before the Lord. 23 But if you do not do so, then take note, you have sinned against the Lord; and be sure your sin will find you out.

You see if you fight the just war, if you follow your lord, if you help him drive out his enemies then you may possess their land as your own–god’s right of just conquest. If you do not follow or if you do feel guilt, blame, because you doubt the lord then your sin will wrack your body with PTSD. It’s that simple folks. Get a bible, read it, and calm down.

Jim Newman, bright and well


God Told Me to Resign

Benny-the-RatSomeone tell The Rat to scurry back to his hole. Every time he comes out there’s more trouble. I’m sorry but god told him to resign? Can this man not do anything without some celestial injunction? It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact the man couldn’t stay awake for more than two hours, the gay lobby was closing in on him, and he needed to get out of the divine light of celestial pedophilia? God told him to resign so he can pray more so he retreated to solitary?

Solitary, that’s perfect but why not something less fancy like Pope Puppy seeks. A prison cell for example. Lots of time there for solitary. Pray all you want. And yes I am declaring our new Pope Francis to be Pope Puppy because he’s just so tail-waggingly friendly to everyone even as he pees on them.

 A senior Vatican source corroborated the story, commenting, “The report seems credible. It accurately explains the spiritual process that brought Benedict to resign.”

The report seems credible? What the hell? Did this guy not get his “corroboration” from the pope or not. Is he implying he didn’t do his fact checking with god to find out if The Rat was sincere in describing his spiritual process? How does one corroborate a spiritual process? How do we really know the The Rat isn’t in their jacking off to Naked Boy, uhh, Nun Dreams between long naps–oh, hell he’s probably too old and doesn’t even have Nightly Emissions–poor bastard.

“Seems credible”, “accurately explains”? No wonder Catholics ignore the Vatican, their clarity is so profound. Is it or isn’t it? We’re not talking about the trinity here. This is the kind of Christian exegesis we can expect from the Vatican? Pope Puppy had this to say:

 “The last time there were two or three popes, they didn’t talk among themselves and they fought over who was the true pope!” he said, going on to add that having Benedict living in the Vatican “is like having a grandfather – a wise grandfather – living at home.”

Who is the true pope? I was wondering that myself. There goes Pope Puppy chuckling to himself while he plans another bait-and-switch.

Yeah, it’s like having Grandpa Rat living in the basement nodding off between reruns, hiding out from the police and pissed off boys, now men with wallets that can sue.

pope puppyPope Puppy may be self effacing but he knew he might be in the upstairs at the last papal election when The Rat won. Back in the good old days before sodom and gemorra, uhh priestly indiscretion, when hard line conservative politics ruled. Oy, he didn’t expect or want to be pope. Such a chore. Oh, to be back home on the bus talking about soccer. The Puppy Pope has a distinct Jewish Mother aspect to his complaints (my apologies to the many sincere Jewish mothers and the base use of the stereotype). He doesn’t really mean it but some attention would be good.

The Rat also said it was the Puppy Pope’s charisma that convinced him he made the right decision. Hard line wasn’t working huh, time for a movie star and Mel Gibson wasn’t available? So I guess that Jesus with a sword thing wasn’t working and we needed Jesus riding an ass to Jerusalem,  uhh Rome, the spiritual Jerusalem? And not a pope riding a boy! Well now the ass is in the basement and the donkey, uhh puppy, is the pope.

Jim Newman, bright and well


Lightning Hits Creationist Museum

lightning-1Divine Intervention? For awhile (still?) religiots thought lightning struck people because they have sinned–HIV, etc. For a moment I will open up an infinite fantasy world and smile that god is pissed at Ken Ham for creating a zip line to attract people to his museum for reasons other than religious interest–coupons to heaven anyone? So, now not only is the overpaid Ham going broke but he faces god’s wrath. Aaahhh, speaking of comfort from religion, I’m gonna hijack a little faith and says cheers! There are signs everywhere!

To add to the pain they weren’t struck by lightning the wire became charged and an employee grabbed onto it and grounded the charge. Whoeee. So, maybe a little attention to physics, meteorology has utility? Nawwww, it was god’s will–she, he, it knew what she was doing! Ham need only spin this to show that electrical capacitors existed with dinosaurs!

Always read the instructions Ken–you gotta ground big metal things! Maybe he was counting on revelation to tell him how to set it up.

Ok, so this is a cheap shot but after yesterday’s smarmy acceptance of Islamic bullshit I had to do something today.

Yes, I can laugh as no one was really hurt and I have been struck by lightning myself while mountain climbing but that’s another story.

If they can say lightning strikes those who have sinned they have to live by their jive, or get struck by it. The Young Turks on it–why are female news folks always pretty, skinny but guys can look, ummm, huh, however?

Jim Newman, bright and well


Breeding to Success

scary babies_mediumBreeder wars. How to overcome when you have no money, no power. Breed until you are a fighting majority, or contending minority. It’s perfect. Poor, marginalized, recently immigrated? Hang out and have children. A few generations of huge families and you too can enter the culture wars. Go from no class to competing class.

Myanmar Buddhists are now fighting their long illegal Muslim neighbors that have overwhelmingly overbred them–while refusing to adopt the culture of the country they inhabit. Can you imagine it, violent buddhists–they must be really frustrated!

Authorities in Myanmar’s western Rakhine state have imposed a two-child limit for Muslim Rohingya families, a policy that does not apply to Buddhists in the area and comes amid accusations of ethnic cleansing in the aftermath of sectarian violence.

Local officials said Saturday that the new measure would be applied to two Rakhine townships that border Bangladesh and have the highest Muslim populations in the state. The townships, Buthidaung and Maundaw, are about 95 percent Muslim.

The unusual order makes Myanmar perhaps the only country in the world to impose such a restriction on a religious group, and is likely to fuel further criticism that Muslims are being discriminated against in the Buddhist-majority country.

Other countries have tried to do national population control, usually to disastrous results–what’s the one thing any poor person can do that doesn’t cost money and releases tons of dopamine into your system? What is our strongest drive the church always tries to regulate purely to drive you nuts? Now, we atheists can have some fun too! Breed to success!

China has a one-child policy, but it is not based on religion and exceptions apply to minority ethnic groups. India briefly practiced forced sterilization of men in a bid to control the population in the mid-1970s when civil liberties were suspended during a period of emergency rule, but a nationwide outcry quickly shut down the program…

China has been carrying out a planned birth policy since the late 1970s, generally limiting one child to urban couples and no more than two to rural families, to stem rapid population growth that Beijing believes is not sustainable economically and environmentally.

Yah think. Anyone remember those horrid documentaries christians love to show about chinese couples having their child taken from them simply because they exceeded quota? What’s the most heinous thing you can do to a person? Take their child away. Well, unless you’re Spartan, Amazonian (let’s get fictional) , Kibbutzim, or, oh yeah, they were raising warriors–that’s OK.

Now let’s switch over to the states, skipping past California and the west coast with its issues of hispanics breeding like catholics while the protestants can’t catch up, past the Amish and Hutterites with their growing pains. There will soon be more ultraorthodox Jews than any other kind in NY and they don’t like to work or participate in society.

American Jews are actively supporting a demographic trend that threatens the fabric of American Jewish life: the unchecked growth of Jewish fundamentalism.

Call them what you will — ultra-Orthodox Jews, “fervently Orthodox” Jews, Haredim, black hats. They will soon become the majority of affiliated Jews in the metropolitan New York area, and the religious majority in Israel. The results will be catastrophic…

And pretty soon, the hierarchy will overwhelm us. Demographers tell us that 49% of New York’s Jewish children are Haredi (either Hasidic or “yeshivish”). Especially in light of non-Orthodox disaffiliation, New York Jewry, within a generation, will be fundamentalist, poor, uneducated and reactionary. Non-Orthodox Jews will look like the secular Persians of Iran: once the complacent majority, now a minority oppressed by fundamentalists.

Speaking of the mideast.

Once a tiny minority, ultra-Orthodox Jews—also known as Haredim—now make up more than 10 percent of Israel’s population and 21 percent of all primary-school students. With the community’s fertility rate hovering at more than three times that of other Israeli Jews, demographers project that by 2034, about one in five Israelis will be ultra-Orthodox.

We atheists are on the wrong track in the breeder wars. We tend to breed less. How on Earth can we win the breeder wars unless we breed? It’s the best way to win a culture war of attrition. Yes, it requires poverty, being on the dole, and a shorter life span. But thunk of the benefits. In a short few decades we can be a majority simoply by breeding and we know how fun that can be.

Yes, I know it’s expensive. But not so much if you bail on that false middle-class materialistic ideal. You don’t need stuff, education, WIFI (soon it’ll be everywhere free) you need children. Children will make you happy. And it’s our most fundamental right. An antipopulation control site puts it perfectly against the Radical Green Agenda.

But is that the kind of a future that anyone would actually want to live in?  Would anyone actually choose to live in a future where bureaucrats micromanage our lives for the good of the environment?

Personally, I think that the 7 billion people on earth would do just fine if they were given a lot more liberty and freedom to live their own lives as they see fit.

Hell no. We don’t want no stinking bureaucrats. See, it’s a conspiracy to take away our rights. It has nothing to do with population-resource balance. It’s all about The Man. The only Man they want to follow is the one that died 2,000 years ago and then it’s all about The Man–even though he was celibate, promoted celibacy, and fought those breeding Romans who wanted warriors.

Oh yeah, warriors. Need an army, breed them.

Jim Newman, bright and well