OH – IGNORANT IMBECILE
I was reading my latest newsletter from FFRF.org – Freethought Today and made it to page 14 where the “Crank Mail” was placed. It’s one of my favorite features of this fine publication. Crank Mail a sampling of the recent emails or contacts made by those most faithful Christians to call out and/or to “warn” FFRF of their impending doom. Education is the cure for ignorance but for now the ignorance is entertaining.
Always a joy to read but this most recent edition sampled some of the best I’ve ever read.
“Whats wrong you assclown afraid of Islam? You screwwbals have nothing to say or do to that fucked up piece of pig shit so called religion that teaches to kill everyone thats not like them. Where you fucks at on them hum. you bunch of chicken shits” - David Lupton
As with most of these short but sweet rants, they all appear to lack basic vocabulary skills. Their spellcheck systems are useless and to hell with punctuation. I often imagine the man or women behind the keyboard, typing feverishly, their mind whirling with anger as they describe how we are “screwwbals”, “assclowns” and “chicken shits” – and usually they include what they and/or their god is going to do to us.
I imagine as they type, that as the colored line appears below a misspelled word; “Oh look Mary Beth, even gmail knows that I mean bizness, it’s underlining all the impotant wurds.”
“We are a group of Wealthy citizens of South Dakota, and many who not reside outside of South Dakota. We have informed certain Rapid City politicians that we stand ready to provide significant financial support to defend their religious practices, views and opinions. Please feel free to pursue any and all legal action you feel is necessary to attack the citizens of Rapid City, but be prepared for a lengthy and expensive legal costs, as we will fund any and all state court action, as well as federal court action. God Bless Freedom of Religion!” – Our Lord Jesus Christ
Apparently from Jesus himself. In response, I might say:
Dear Jesus Christ, I see that you now reside in Rapid City amongst other wealthy citizens. I think that is a great move, it’s more believable than this “heaven” thing you spoke of and it means that you now can enjoy the U.S. Postal Service and actually get that money that so many have been collecting for you.
Your letter states that your group contains citizens of South Dakota and “many who not reside outside of South Dakota”. Wouldn’t those be the same as the citizens residing in South Dakota? I appreciate your permission for us to pursue legal action, we were hoping to get your blessing but couldn’t find your address. I see that your group members are wealthy and wanted to ask, before this most recent commitment to defend your politicians, what were you doing with this wealth accumulated? Have you been giving all to the poor and needy as you demand of your followers in the bible?
Can you imagine what this person was thinking? I imagine a middle aged person, almost finished the 10th grade before having her second child and being forced to pick potatoes for a living. I imagine she actually gave this some thought, she sat down and after much deliberation, decided that her best method of attack would be a threat using reverse psychology. “I’ll give them permission to sue as if we don’t mind but I’ll warn them of our wealth and how costly this might be, as if I care about their finances.”
I may be too kind, it may actually be a 5th grade alter boy who overheard his parents discussing the legal issue and figured while the internet was down would draft up a letter to threaten the FFRF.
“Dear Mrs., Annie Laurie Gaylor, I just read this article about you proposing to the government to rename Christmas to “Family day”. This nation was founded and started on Christian principles found in the Holy Bible. I am a very strong, and powerful man, I can take on anyone in a fight, and win. I have taken on people bigger than you and won. Good day, God bless you.” - Jaye Sanders. Child of God, Brother to Jesus, American Patriot, NRA Supporter
Here we have one zealous Glen Beckistan citizen who thought it prudent to draft a letter in response to the FFRF’s Co-President, Annie Laurie Gaylor’s OP-ED piece about renaming the Christmas Holiday. Not just any letter, but a threatening letter. He’s fought and won, he can fight anyone and win. This from a peace- loving Christ-tard and Brother to Jesus?
DAMN YOU TO HELL
“All of ypu people are going STRAIGHT to hell. The sooner the better you FREAKS. FUCK OFF” – Tonya Haas
“u say this country is not christian or goddly. you all are full of shit are four father left england so they could worship god without all politics. its funny christianity is the only religion that is be tooking out of stuff. and for your info, the women so many years ago that started all thisso long ago. ended up getting her head cut of and was a athist and her son turns into a preacher and that carma. and now theres a muslim run the country in the ground and you all are try to hurt any one you can but carma get u alive or dad.and i am not christian and believe in christianity so go bit one” - Adam Phillip, Greenville, South Carolina
One of the funniest I’ve ever read. Now do you see why I love this part of the newsletter so much? Poor little non-Christian feller, folks trying to tooking his Christianity out of stuff.
IT’S ME – JESUS
“Why can’t you mind your own business and stayed your evil asses in WI Who do you think you are??? You are nothing but the scum of Hell. You are nothing but COWARDS! If you don’t love it then leave it! – Jesus Christ, Pickens, South Carolina
“i hope there is a god and he gives all your members and their families cancer” (anonymous but apparently a true Christian)
“Get A FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!: YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS. IF YOU DON”T LIKE IT THE FUCK OUT!!! IT”S VERY SIMPLE HAVE SOMEBODY WITH BRAINS EXPLAIN IT TO YOU!” – Mike Griffin, Avon, Indiana
Awwww Mike, why don’t you try to explain it to us. Surely you didn’t write that gibberish without a brain. Are you saying that if only you had a brain you would explain it? I’ll pray for you Mike.
Education is the cure for ignorance
There are many others quoted as well. Be sure to check out www.ffrf.org and consider joining. Your membership and support helps tooking religion out of government. Education is the cure for ignorance. It’s those like Phil Ferguson and Skeptic.org that recognize this, lending support to groups like the Secular Student Alliance , Junior Skeptic and Camp Quest. We must offer our support as well, we must help educate children to be more skeptical, to use reason and to question everything.