FOX News Finds Kirsten Powers, Looker Shill

Posted by Jim Newman on December 5th, 2013 – 2 Comments – Posted in FOX

kirsten-powersWhat a great lead for Fox News. What a great promotion opportunity for Kirsten Powers!

Fox News atheist Democrat: I met Jesus

As if christians didn’t have enough conversion stories considering the bible is the most printed document in the world and considering the hegemony of Abrahamic religions in world politics here’s another of a happy atheist who converted because of her direct contact with Jesus. Thank god for Fox News that she’s a democratic commentator and a Blonde looker too. As if Fox News could even have a democratic commentator. It’s so perfect just like her story.

Kind of odd how her wikipedia entry shows how she is pretty liberal but her daily beast articles slam liberal politics.

It’s a sweet story of a little girl growing up in a liberal family whom Jesus decides to visit.

It was in 2006 during an overseas trip that Kirsten Powers says, “I woke up in what felt like a strange cross between a dream and reality. Jesus came to me and said, ‘Here I am.’”

“It felt so real. I didn’t know what to make of it,” Powers explains in Christianity Today. “I called my boyfriend, but before I had time to tell him about it, he told me he had been praying the night before and felt we were supposed to break up. So we did. Honestly, while I was upset, I was more traumatized by Jesus visiting me.


“So when I began dating a man who was into Jesus,” she writes, “I was not looking for God. In fact, the week before I met him, a friend had asked me if I had any deal breakers in dating. My response: ‘Just nobody who is religious.’”

A few months into their relationship, her boyfriend asked her point blank on her couch in New York City, “Do you believe Jesus is your Savior?”

“My stomach sank. I started to panic,” she recalls. “Oh no, was my first thought. He’s crazy.”

When Kirsten responded in the negative, her boyfriend then asked, “Do you think you could ever believe it?”

He was looking to get married, possibly to Kirsten, but stressed he couldn’t tie the knot with a non-Christian.

Funny how she converted after these circumstances. I suppose it couldn’t have anything to do with the fact he was so damned religious, he wanted to get married. Were they having sex yet or was that part of it too? Funny why she didn’t pose to him: “Is there anything that would convince you that god doesn’t exist or that religion might not be a source for good? What evidence would it take, honey, to prove religion wrong for you?”

“I said I didn’t want to mislead him – that I would never believe in Jesus,” says Powers. “Then he said the magic words for a liberal: ‘Do you think you could keep an open mind about it?’ Well, of course. ‘I’m very open-minded!’ Even though I wasn’t at all. I derided Christians as anti-intellectual bigots who were too weak to face the reality that there is no rhyme or reason to the world. I had found this man’s church attendance an oddity to overlook, not a point in his favor.”

Oh yes, she was actually critical but challenged to have an open mind.Yeah, open that mind and let your brains fall out. Let’s still date him! Even though he’s odd? Has anyone noticed the insanely stupid things men and women will do for love? Seems like most of Shakespeare is about identity issues and love.

“I just intellectually actually I felt like it’s not even smart to reject this,” she elaborated to Focus on the Family. “It just doesn’t seem like a good intellectual decision. So I think I sort of nominally thought, ‘Yeah, I’m like that, but I’m not one of those crazies.’

So she’s democratic commentator but she’s interviewing with Focus on the Family? But she didn’t want it. It’s perfect. She resisted the call but Jesus kept pressing in. It’s a reverse exorcism! A spiritual rape! Quick call Recovering from Religion!

“It was just sort of like God sort of invading my life. It was very unwelcome and I didn’t like it and all of a sudden I started having a lot of different experiences where I just felt God doing a lot of things in my life. It’s kind of hard to describe but I did just have this moment of the scales falling off of my eyes, and just saying it’s just totally true. Like I don’t even have any doubt.

“Like I don’t even have any doubt.” She resisted but he pressed on and on until not only could she not resist but she had no doubt. Yeah, I bet. That’s the best way to resist the haranguing of a boyfriend who wants to bed you for life, and eliminate all of those disagreeable discussions over religion. Not only will I convert but fully, without question, without doubt, without reservation. That’s how the religious mind works, no doubt. Funny how Jesus doubted as did many of the apostles. Funny how doubt is often used to prove one is really faithful because they are admitting doubt. No, Power’s rhetoric here is about how much she doubted before but doesn’t doubt at all now. Every question answered. Every contradiction cleared up. Everything as clear as spring water. You have to wonder why she keeps talking about her resistance, and Jesus kept pressing in. I wonder what her basement looks like?

But she kept fighting? I thought it was totally clear? No doubt! I’m confused. Oh, yeah, basement. Please, take me, take me, no, no, yes, yes…

I’ll never forget standing outside that apartment on the Upper East Side and saying to myself, ‘It’s true. It’s completely true.’ The world looked entirely different, like a veil had been lifted off it. I had not an iota of doubt. I was filled with indescribable joy.

“The horror of the prospect of being a devout Christian crept back in almost immediately. I spent the next few months doing my best to wrestle away from God. It was pointless. Everywhere I turned, there he was. Slowly there was less fear and more joy. The Hound of Heaven had pursued me and caught me – whether I liked it or not.”

Hound of Heaven? Isn’t that the hounds of hell? Oh well. Easy to confuse.  The Hound of Heaven is actually a christian poem with an odd meaning. It’s for those christians that like predator-prey games. More like the emotionless killer that never pauses. Takes a christian to think of grace as chasing predator.

As the hound follows the hare, never ceasing in its running, ever drawing nearer in the chase, with unhurrying and imperturbed pace, so does God follow the fleeing soul by His Divine grace. And though in sin or in human love, away from God it seeks to hide itself, Divine grace follows after, unwearyingly follows ever after, till the soul feels its pressure forcing it to turn to Him alone in that never ending pursuit.” The Neumann Press Book of Verse, 1988[2]

Run. Run while you still can but pace yourself. You know that’s how you capture wild horses–you walk them to exhaustion. As you get close the horse startles and runs, you follow on foot at a maintainable pace, repeat until horse in full sweat submits. Fun, huh? She tried to resist and then she swooned, swooned for the religion of her man. How’s that raise at work going? Wasn’t this 7 years ago? Why wait till now?

“Very positive. I was surprised,” she said. “I got so many emails, and I even heard from some of my friends who are atheists who really were interested in it and appreciated it and were inspired by it.”

Hmm, atheist friends were inspired by her becoming religious, not just religious, but full-on evangelical christian? I’m sure my atheists friends would be inspired if I converted. Of course if they hadn’t they wouldn’t be friends would they? But let’s blame the media and share some advice

In a cautionary note to fellow believers, Powers told Kurtz that while “the media is not the most Christian-friendly place in the world for the most part, at the same time, a lot of these Christians bring [poor public perception] on themselves.”

Yep, in spite of the fact the US is one of the most religious countries in the world with one of the most religious media in the world and in spite of the fact that Fox News was outlawed in Canada for its bias the media is not christian friendly? Slam dunk for Fox News. Give her that bonus, make her anchor. She’s tired of being just a commentator. Some people flash a little skin for promotions but hey it’s far better at Fox News to flash a little belief, a lot of belief, a Miley Cyrus amount of sheer, naked, unadulterated belief, and don’t forget the makeup, the hair color. Especially when you resisted all along but Jesus just kept pressing in, pressing in, oohhh. She was so helpless in the face of him. Doesn’t this sound like some gothic erotic novel where Jesus is the man who rapes you? Vampire Diaries with Angel with Twilight. Where’s Buffy when we need her?

Jim Newman, bright and well

  1. fred says:

    While I hate the idea of intelligence being linked to one’s hair color, this story does little to dispel the imagined link between “blond” and “dumb.”

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