My Godless Vagina

Posted by Phil Ferguson on January 29th, 2013 – 12 Comments – Posted in Uncategorized

godless viginaGuest post By: Rachel Johnson

Let it be known from here forward that my vagina has never had a personal relationship with god.

Any god, ever.

In fact my vagina has no clue why any god is so worried about it.

It seems to me my vagina is just fine. I don’t want your god in my vagina.

I don’t want your religion in my vagina. Most of all I don’t want you telling me what to do with my godless vagina.

My vagina was not issued by the state. I did not go to any office to pick it up. I did not have it ordered, or licensed.

I was born with it. There is no bureaucrat in my vagina, and I assure you there is no room for one. In fact there is no doctor in there, there is no lawyer in there, and that is the way I want to keep it.

I don’t want you putting your religious laws into practice governing my vagina. She is fine, without you and certainly without your god.

My godless vagina has been fine for all these years without someone forcing their beliefs on it.

It has worked just fine, and I have made my personal choices based on what was best for me.

I don’t ask anyone to come and take care of my vagina. I do a good enough job.

So let me tell you to leave my godless vagina alone.

I will not be converting my vagina to Christian, Muslim, Hindu or any other religion, and I certainly don’t need you trying to force my vagina to hold your beliefs.

My godless vagina is not guilty.

It has never used tax payer money to throw parties, it does not fly on private jets with tax payer money.

It does not ride in limos on tax payer money, and it does not need tax payer money to exist.

In fact I have worked and paid for my godless vagina’s needs.

I don’t see why people believe they have the right to make laws about my vagina.

Since it is inside of me, it should be my decision. In fact I wonder why there are no testicle laws.

I wonder why mens sperm is not on the docket?

Why is my vagina a national issue, and no penis is getting blamed?

That makes my godless vagina pretty mad. After all it takes two to have sex, and my vagina has not been sneaking around with secret penises.

I am aware of what my vagina does, and the state should not be.

My vagina is in good hands, after all nature gave it to me.

Now you can say there are some women who are not responsible with their vaginas.

That may be because they are not educated about their vaginas, and feel the need to let gods into their vaginas.

That is not the case with me and most women. We are responsible. We take the best care of our vaginas that we can. We choose birth control, and abortion only when necessary. No one ever chooses abortion for fun.

So when it comes to me and my godless vagina, I want every law maker in Washington DC to know. She is a godless heathen vagina, but she is mine. I will not let you take the right to my godless vagina away from me.

You are not putting a church, a bureaucrat, and a lawyer in my vagina. You are certainly not putting your god in my vagina.

My vagina has never had a personal relationship with your god and she does not want to.

Leave my godless vagina alone.

  1. Mj says:

    This is STUPID

  2. Jess says:

    Love this! Thanks for writing it.

  3. rob says:

    im not god so can i be in your vagina?

  4. Anjan Behera says:

    Reminds me of Helen Cixous’ bold takes on feminism and re taking the female body! Good work!

  5. Mary - Canada says:

    This is brilliant!

  6. Jim n says:

    I am totally psyched that someone would know and mention Helene Cixous! FYI:

    “Cixous and Luce Irigaray combined Derrida’s logocentric idea and Lacan’s symbol for desire, creating the term phallogocentrism. This term focuses on Derrida’s social structure of speech and binary opposition as the center of reference for language, with the phallic being privileged and how women are only defined by what they lack; not A vs. B, but, rather A vs. ¬A (not-A).”

  7. Ateo says:

    “Most of all I don’t want you telling me what to do with my godless vagina.”

    How come no one is up in arms about being told that you can’t show off genitals in public? That’s part of telling you what to do with your godless vagina, right? If you’re going to go there, you should go all the way.

    But really, I think it’s a bit inaccurate to talk about your vaginal rights. If anything, it’s your uterine rights or fetal rights, your godless uterus and godless fetus.

  8. SuperAtheist says:

    Ha, you said vagina.

  9. David Starkey, Dallas, TX U.S.A. says:

    With all due respect to your private real-estate, you may want to reconsider the no-doctor policy, at least as far as HPV is concerned.
    Why roll the dice with your life to make a political statement?
    Don’t die for a cause, unless it will make a worthy difference.
    Just advise, take it, or don’t.

    • Rachel Johnson says:

      It is called a vagina, and I was talking about unwanted doctors vaginally penetrating a woman with a probe.

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