Comments on: Grieving For The Living

By: Jim n

Jim n — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:26:57 +0000

BTW, Johnny A, NO parent truly wishes their child dead. They might wish you otherwise and might torment you with threats but no parent wishes their child dead. Keep strong and remember you are loved by all the others who care for you and wish for you the best.

By: Jim n

Jim n — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:22:39 +0000

I care too. My mother and father split over religion and I have never had another father but I have had a great life. There is happiness in spite of it, maybe even because of it. I do not know how a parent or grandparent can reject a child but I Iived through it and you can too.

By: Hippo1010

Hippo1010 — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 07:13:34 +0000

Bridget, I perfectly understand where you come from. I went through the same situation with my parents. Same exact thing. I have a career, never done a drug in my life, I am a responsible citizen and member of my community, yet I’m still a disappointment to my parents, just because I’m no longer a JW.

Thank you for posting this. As you can see by the responses, there are many like you or with similar stories.

By: TallulahB

TallulahB — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 00:42:36 +0000

I hate (okay, not really) to break it to you Heidi, but the idea of the numbers increasing is just wrong. For a very nice table/breakdown of percentage of growth and loss, look here:

http://www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=15573&p=195128&hilit=yearbook#p195128

Negative growth is NOT growth. JW numbers are declining because its an unsustainable model for living. How can you expect people to grow and thrive when you are continually telling them they should live in poverty and ignorance, that they should stay away from society at large, that all of their life efforts are potentially meaningless unless they serve even more and that even if you as an individual “make it” in the eyes of God, that you have no guarantee that any of the people you love will be there to enjoy your earthly reward?

JW’s rely on disfellowshipping as a way to make sure individuals keep their other family members in, because the door-to-door preaching work is a HIGHLY ineffective recruitment tool.

Thank the Spaghetti Monster for the internet. It helps people realize that they are not alone in their suffering and that as painful as it may be to sever ties with your loved ones, the emotional pay-off- having autonomy, building real community, learning to be a productive, contributing member of society- outweighs the heartache of personal loss. I LOVE my family. I miss them. But I refuse to sacrifice my sanity and well-being for the Watchtower. They are not divinely inspired. They are manipulative, small-minded men, and strangers at that.

By: Phil Ferguson

Phil Ferguson — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:36:44 +0000

Johnny A. I care! I am glad the post helped you. Stay strong and help us make the world a better place for that wonderful little girl of yours!

By: Johnny A

Johnny A — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 08:09:06 +0000

Reading some of yalls experience help ease the pain.. I’m 19 and have a week old daughter with my 2 year girlfriend.. although I’m not perfect I decided to leave the organization because I wanted to think fir myself. It hurts because although I wasn’t the best son I would at least love for my parents to be in my daughters life show her love. I wish I understand how one could reject ones own child since I feel so alone sometimes. It just makes me so sad, makes me wonder if they’d actually care if I died.

By: Bridget Gaudette

Bridget Gaudette — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 00:51:25 +0000

Update: This post has encouraged me to write a book. Find out more at http://www.GrievingForTheLiving.com and please donate to my Kickstarter to make sure this happens: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYDVaIVsm0

By: Bridget Gaudette

Bridget Gaudette — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 22:18:30 +0000

In general I’m a happy person, but around the holidays and on Mother’s and Father’s Day I get down. I feel badly for them because I know they think they are doing the right thing. But I’m missing out, too and it sucks.

By: Bridget Gaudette

Bridget Gaudette — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 22:16:45 +0000

Concerned-
“you are able to reevaluate your choices of being happy because of someone else’s “misfortunes”.

I’m not sure what you are referring to. I don’t take joy in the misfortune of others. In fact, now that I am no longer a JW I am FAR more charitable and caring about my fellow man. I am a social worker, I volunteer hundreds of hours a year to help the needy, I give a lot of money to charity (as opposed to the Watchtower Society).

This invisible entity, Jehovah, never made me feel “more complete” as you said. You shouldn’t rely on invisible creatures for your sense of self. I want my family back despite their beliefs, it has nothing to do with hypothetical spirits.

I’m very happy that you are reading and communicating with me, an apostate. It means there is a small bit of doubt in your mind. Some part of you feels badly that my family has rejected me for silly reasons. That’s what cult members do by the way, they reject people that don’t accept their beliefs.

By: Concerned

Concerned — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 19:39:19 +0000

By definition of the word “cult”, you should know that Jehovah’s witnesses are by no means members of a cult. And I am saddened by the state you are in and take no pleasure from it. I hope that whatever religious choices you make, you are able to reevaluate your choices of being happy because of someone else’s “misfortunes”. I pray everyday for those that I know and those that I’ve never met who have left service to Jehovah. I pray that one day something will help people to really honestly look at themselves and what is offered by the world and make decisions to please god. I myself spent years taking advantage of what I thought was the real world and trying to just enjoy life. No matter how many friends I made, I was never more lonely than I was then, without Jehovah and my family and true friends. I became suicidal and was hospitalized twice. While I will always have to contend with mental illness, I started to make changes and come back to Jehovah and have never felt more complete. It has not been easy, but its worth every single ounce of effort. I hope you can reach that point. I would love to spend time getting to know you in a perfect world.