Pat Robertson recommends people pray away any possible demons when shopping at Goodwill. By they way some demons have horns, satanic horns.

Robertson was answering a question from viewer Carrie, who wrote:

“I buy a lot of clothes and other items at Goodwill and other secondhand shops. Recently my mom told me that I need to pray over the items, bind familiar spirits and bless the items before I bring them into the house. Is my mother correct? Can demons attach themselves to material items?”Robertson answered Carrie’s question with a story about a girl who was troubled by a ring that had been prayed over by a witch. “She had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was,” Robertson said, before claiming that demonic spirits can certainly attach themselves to objects.

Not only demons but witches? Demonic spirits? When is a monotheism a polytheism or an animism? If a demon isn’t a god then what is? It lives forever, it has supernatural powers, and it possesses intelligence. Satan is a demon-god as well. Hmm, an evil god. Aaah, let’s see the video.

“I heard a story…” That’s what makes the truth in news? I heard a story… I heard a story that idiot Christians burned witches at the stake and ascertained their innocence by whether they floated in the water; if the didn’t they were innocent and if they did they were witches and should be burnt. Oh wait, that’s true, not a story. Maybe it’s just a parable or psychological truth. There might be demons of the inner self of another than might be symbolized in the clothes to make us behave godly, good godly that is–see, a nicer, more benign evangelism.

It is a problem. I heard a story that there are several ways they do it–I heard it in my mind, god told me. Some demons transfer from the person to the clothes and when the clothes go to Goodwill, washing doesn’t help, the wearer gets infected. But some demons cast about in Goodwill stores looking for clothes that will be bought by good, honest Christians. Yeah, later, the demons when they get exorcised go to the club, Hell’s Hole on Route 66 (wet t-shirt night every Tuesday) and talk about which clothes work best, what style is moving most at Goodwill. That way they can infect more, most quickly. Goodwill is a good source of victims. Much better than Salvation Army or St Vincent dePaul. Goodwills are everywhere.

And you had better watch out about just trying on clothes at Goodwill. A quick cloaking of your pure self in the changing room can lead to a life of grief. Some demons take a hankering for the owner and stay with them for life making them permanently possessed. So even if you don’t think you’re possessed you should probably get an exorcism. Better safe than sorry.

You all saw the movie about a ring and how it created soul-searing, evil, just evil, golem, trasfiguring, power in the wearer. Yeah, and some German guy named Wagner told the same story.

Of course you atheists, secularists, nonbelievers, freethinkers, agnostics, and other hell bound-apatheists don’t need to worry about this. Just in case though, be sure to wash those clothes before wearing as those demons might change even you into spreading evil without you knowing it. I think it would be wise to cross yourself before every purchase. As they say, and you can’t repeat this too often better safe then sorry. And there’s nothing funny about safety!

Jim Newman, bright and well

www.frontiersofreason.com