Proving Atheists Wrong With Science #1

Posted by Phil Ferguson on April 26th, 2011 – 61 Comments – Posted in Idiots

Uh, OH…..

I think they may have me on this one – I can’t figure it out. (Sarcasm!)

  1. Daniel says:

    Where can I turn? I can tell you where I can turn. I can turn to the fact that the Bible never said one word about the Earth being only 6,000 years old. James Ussher did. He made it up and some dude named Lightfoot, too.

  2. Jeff says:

    To the bathroom: you know, that place where I urinate excess water from my body. I think that’s where I’ll turn.

  3. Savonarola says:

    Oh, oh! I think I figured it out! And it took all of my training in science-y biochemistry to do it. I mean, all of his reasoning is absolutely perfect except for one thing. His math presumes that all six billion people have existed for the entire time. Obviously, this isn’t true. And it’s a good thing for us crazy atheists, because the rest of his argument is just *impeccable*.

    (Now, for an extra laugh, consider that the argument is probably from a person who believes that there was a worldwide flood that originated when incomprehensible amounts of water came from nowhere, hung around for a while, and then disappeared to nowhere.)

  4. huh says:

    Are you seriously that stupid? yes because when you drink a glass of water, that water is gone – never to re-enter the environment. tiny blacks holes, dont-cha know

  5. wow, you see…there’s this thing called the water *cycle*. As in water is reused, over and over aga– Wait, who am I talking to? *sigh*

    I once read a factoid that each person living on the planet has homeopathic quantities of water molecules inside them that once were in the bloodstream of Jesus Christ. I have no idea how they did the math on that, but I assume it holds true for any human of sufficient antiquity.

  6. seriously? says:

    hahahahaha. I guess he forgot all about the water cycle, something we all learned in what, second grade. always make sure you know what you’re talking about folks

  7. Refney says:

    People drink water, but there’s still water left. You can’t explain that.

  8. AConvert says:

    Oh, I can’t I believe I haven’t seen this before. Thank You so much for upsetting my logical view of the Universe, I promise to find a worthwhile local church to give at least half of my earnings to while I sit back and mock anyone who hasn’t accepted that Zombie Jesus will be here any day so why bother trying. First thing tmrw, no, really. Really

  9. Preston Wright says:

    well, water is used, evacuated from your body, and ends up in a lake, drainage ditch, or other collective outlet. evaporated, recycled, you could say, recollected without other impurities…
    I don’t think we send water into space when we’re done with it.

  10. wow says:

    If someone understood the basic principles of population…

    Earth has not had 7 billion inhabitants for the whole time bracket you state. It is quite obvious that from 1800s to now. (Yes, only a few centuries ago) The population was less than half of what it is today. Second of all, if the bible says that people have roamed the planet for 6000 years (I think you misquoted that) just that simple idea is what makes us atheists go…uh…no.

    The idea that drinking all the water would dry our oceans is ridiculous enough. Water, like energy, recycles itself. Even though FRESH water will run out eventually, there is something called rain and condensation…

  11. mark says:


    Although the Bible indeed does not say the earth is 6000 years old directly, it does infer it. First off you had the 7 days of creation then the creation of Adam. Then the Bible lists all the names of people who “begat” who, who “begat” who and it lists these names all the way to Jesus. And we “know” Jesus was borne 2000 years ago. Well, the Bible also says the average lifespan of each of those “begats”. When you count all the “who’s” from Adam to Jesus and multiple that number by the average lifespan of each, then add 2000 years and 7 days, you arrive at 6000 years.

    It actually makes a lot of sense if you don’t think about it. The key here is not thinking about it.

  12. Eddy says:

    The water cycle.

  13. Tim says:

    Where is your source for this image? Seems like a troll to me.

  14. Phil says:

    @ tim…. I pulled from Reddit. Seached high and low for the source – could not find it. My may be a troll. I just thought it was funny.

  15. Erik says:

    Don’t you guys get it?
    This text is most likely written to ridicule christians from the beginning.
    In other words: a fake.

  16. Phil says:

    @ Erik,
    That may be true. Please cite the source for your information.

  17. Cardinal Fang says:

    Theists are so sad and desperate, they can convince themselves of anything, like black is white and shit is cheese. Just for the poor theists let us just accept that water is not recyclable (which it is) and let’s say that when we drink it its gone forever (which it isn’t because its recyclable) this leaves the question “how is the water replenishing itself and where from!?” And this is where all theist arguments for the existence of God come crashing down. And it boils down to their idiotic reliance on the following argument – When science cannot provide a full answer? Then the explanation is God. If you can’t fully explain something by scientific means then God did it. This is not logical, it’s not even common sense, it’s dumb. If answer unknown then x = God (x being the unknown quantity). Science doesn’t have all the answers yet but that doesn’t mean that you can fill all the current blank spaces with God by default. However in this case the reappearing water argument IS explained by science very easily with The Water Cycle. Oh and by the way I’m not really buying this killing people who work on a Sunday idea, seems a bit harsh really. One final point, I have a 12 inch penis – no I won’t show it to you…you just have to have faith that I do ;0)

  18. daniel says:

    People’s bodies are 98.6 degrees…if we were around for 3 billion years, wouldn’t the earth be like a million degrees by now? You can’t explain that. Bitch-slapped by thermodynamics again, atheists *sigh*

  19. skwidge says:

    That is if none of it cycles. Also, the people today use 12*10^9 liters of water every day, but that doesn’t mean that in all the 3 billion years the earth has lived, not to mention, the human race haven’t been on earth that long. In addition to that, the human race haven’t always been 6 (close to 7) billion.

  20. Wolfe says:

    Poposterous. As all living things that have once drank water must also die and revecome the earth

  21. D says:

    That is AWESOME. True beLIEvers don’t pee!

  22. LOL says:

    Are you trolling?

  23. TrueBeliever...NOT! says:

    boy, I love it when people of religious stupidity try to use Science (their sworn enemy) to cover their raw (from all the atheist asswhooping) asses!!.
    In simple, what!! does the religion also preach, though shall not defecate, as thou shan’t procreate. They leadeth you into the fiery depths of hell..

    Boy, I just cannot stop laughing at this idiocy

  24. shelb says:

    because there have been 6 billion PEOPLE on the earth since the beginning of time. take a history course retard.

  25. Luke says:

    I’m pretty sure this is being sarcastic.

    If it isn’t, it’s pretty sad.

  26. Anon Says says:

    Everyone here has completely missed the joke. In the beginning of this article it points out (sarcasm). Did you guys not happen to pick that up?

    Thank Jeebus for that big wonderful Spaghetti Monster in the sky.

    And what does the internal temperature of your body have to do with the over all heat of the earth? Are you saying that the reason for global warming is literally because there are so many bodies producing heat?

    Daniel, go outside in the snow with no clothes on and tell me how long that internal heat source lasts you.

  27. poo says:

    LOL citations.

  28. ghostmakermice says:

    flush toilet, water comes right back – it’s the same thing with the oceans … god must just keep refilling them, there’s no other explanation for how the toilet keeps it’s unfaltering and endless refilling cycle – I’ve flushed my toilet like 40 times in a row and it miraculously keeps coming back like a perpetual holy fountain – thank you god, thank you for all this awesome water to dilute my poop with

    but why do you provide all this never ending, free and clean water to my toilet when so many millions of your followers in 3rd world countries don’t even have enough water clean to drink?

    one question I have is, if god made the Earth for Humans, why did he make 70%+ of it SALT WATER which we can neither live in or drink?

  29. You still dont know how to apply science says:

    1st The sun is around 4 billion years old and earth has been forming since a little later.
    2nd the Earth was a molten wasteland in the beginning much like how you imagine hell.
    3rd basic life forms that ruled the early planet were small microbes.
    4th The human population right now outnumbers the entirety of humans since the garden of Eden, as in there are more people alive right now then there were ever.
    5th One of the biggest international problems is the lack of clean water, ocean water can’t be consumed since it’s more dehydrating than hydrating so we lose 95% of water in your equation.
    6th Do you really think you can disprove science by reasoning like a chimpanzee.
    7th You can pretend god is real but that wont make it so

  30. Erik says:

    @ Phil,
    I said “most likely”

  31. Ben says:

    this is because people reuse water, and so do animals, it doesn’t just dissappear, you pee it back out and it becomes reintegrated into the environment

  32. himay says:

    hmmm well did you factor in the water in the air to such as mist? and what about how 9.4 percent of condensed water stays in liquid form even after the temp raises higher than the temp that condensed it, couldn’t there be water in caves that was once drunk though is now untraceable due to air flow?

  33. solsed says:

    It’s so funny I cant even reply properly..

  34. Just when you think the religious reich can’t get any more stupid they prove you wrong by saying, in effect, “Oh yes. We can be a LOT more stupid than you think!”

    Facts, science, the law, common sense, and human decency mean nothing to the theist cabal. If they can believe in the nonsense of religion, they can believe anything, no matter how ridiculous.

  35. Grant says:

    i can’t tell if this is sarcastic but i sure hope it is

  36. Phacops says:

    Well, I guess that the superstitious crowd thinks that all the water we drink miraculously gets raptured up to god just like what will happen tod……..oops – guess the rapture just didn’t work out. Let the excuses begin.

  37. rusty621 says:

    What gets me here isn’t the existence of anything or nothing. It’s the total lack of acceptance of possibility.
    I mean the individual that wrote this totally ignores the possibilities of spontaneous creation. The rest of you ignore the possibility of a higher intelligence, power, whatever. Closed-mindedness of ANY kind is just another way of acting in a very stupid way.
    “Religious people” using science isn’t THAT raw of a concept, ‘TrueBeliever’. My wife’s doctor ((if MD’s don’t use science… hmm… nope, too dumb to consider)) is a devout Christian, a DAMN good doctor, a practical-minded fellow, and smart as anyone I know. Wonder how that happened according to your arguments.
    Another point- What are all you people so afraid of that you can’t even go through this without calling someone stupid ((I’ll just go ahead and point out the above comment says “acting in a stupid way”, not that anyone IS stupid, for all those who pick and choose parts of things to reply to)), or troll, or whatever else negative you can think of? What scares you about possibilities? The possibility of God, no god, another god, many gods? It’s like you’re not imaginative enough to think of anything better than that one dimensional stand on the thing.
    Oh, and Phacops, no one worth their salt ((of my friends at least)) believed Camping’s BS. Thanks.

    Now, to the original post- Water cycle ((already stated a few times)), condensation ((can occur even when no signifigant moisture is present)), evaporation ((occurs even when there’s lots of moisture present))… So yeah, not very well thought out on that note.
    Also, there weren’t 3,000,000,000 Adams and 3,000,000,000 Eves in Genesis. Just 1 of each. And Eve didn’t produce that many offspring. No matter what God condemned her to for her sin, it DID NOT entail that. That would just be wrong on more levels than I care to consider and make God not worth anyone’s time for more than being a bully.

  38. Ry-Guy says:

    Wow. This is so stupid I don’t even know where to begin…. the water cycle, precipitation, evaporation, etc. But the most glaring stupidity is the numbers he uses. We didn’t 6 billion people on earth until 1999. In 1900 there was only 1.5 billion. In 1700, there was only 800 million. But I guess that’s all to “scientific” for this moron.

  39. Bob says:

    I am amazed at the number of people that don’t realize this was a joke.

  40. Jayquizzle says:

    wow, really? cause once you drink some water, your body vaporizes all the molecules and all the water just disappears? you are so stupid. end of argument

  41. Tate says:

    You forgot to add science.

  42. Pat says:

    This doesn’t prove or disprove anything. Says nothing about the belief in God or not. Regardless lets not even factor in the water cycle or that earth’s water levels change and fluctuate and just assume and that there is a limit to the water on earth which will run out some billion years. Or lets just assume this is proof there is a god. Dude stop wasting your fucking time trying to prove or disprove the existence of a god. You are but a man, and right now its impossible for you. The only thing to do is look logically at what is more likely, if god is your answer, fine but that’s all faith based–meaning its a belief and a belief can not and is not a fact. Earth’s water levels doesn’t say shit, and I doubt you even accurately calculated that seeing as how water is produced naturally and can be made artificially.

  43. thor says:

    successful troll is successful.

  44. jordan b says:

    this arguement has more holes than swiss cheese, first water is consantly being replenished, and life has existed for 3 billion years that doesnt mean that the rate of water use is as much as today. how are you going to be pretentious and an idiot at the same time?

  45. are. you. FUCKING serious?!?!

    please tell me this is a joke and that you can remain conscious while taking a piss or have once worked up a sweat.

    you are the reason why I am atheist and you give all religions their inherent bad taste.

  46. SecondSolution says:

    I completely agree with WOW. Perfectly stated, in fact. If the earth has only existed for 6000 years, then how do you explain the 65 Million year old dinosaur fossils? Your argument is absurd. From a realistic viewpoint, there is no reason for a higher being to exist. Why? What makes you think that there is such a thing? It is Faith. Faith makes you believe. The detrimental thing about faith, if you’ll try to understand, is that it is taught. Faith, from a religious standpoint, is not a natural thing. Religion is taught. It is a custom; the same as celebrating your country’s independence day. I only speak for myself when I say that it just doesn’t seem logical to believe is such a thing. There’s no explanation, hence no reason. If you believe in doubting Thomas, he was right to question. Question everything. Use your wit.

  47. Moorcat says:

    There are so many logical fallacies with this argument, I don’t know where to even begin. I guess the most basic answer is that all the water in the Human body is at best, only borrowed. Eventually, it is returned to the environment. Fortunately, I don’t even attempt to get into real discussions with people like this, though. It is wasted effort.

  48. I’m going to go ahead and assume this is merely a well written troll because people aren’t really that stupid. (Yeah, right.)

  49. Jeff says:

    Poe’s Law at work on this one.

    It’s nearly impossible to distinguish a fundy from someone parodying a fundy.

  50. Ron says:

    OMG! That’s right! Obviously, I have been blinded by science. I hereby repent and accept the lord as my personal saviour and know that all atheists are deluded by their misinterpretations and misapplications. Thanks for lifting the veil of secular humanism from my eyes. Praise G-d!

  51. me says:

    what this fails to take into account is that the earth started off with more water!
    yes, there may be 1.4*10^21 liters on earth NOW, but when the earth first came into existence it had ~10 times more than that. obviously, that accounts for all the additional water that has been consumed up to this point.

    BOOM. fight science with science, bitches!

  52. me says:

    what this fails to mention…is that when you drink water, its recycled back into the enviroment so yeah

  53. t-bag says:

    Bwahahahaha. If that author had given the same attention to detail to science that they gave to bullshit false logic, which is what all religion is, they’d know what most 3rd graders know.

    Water is not simply destroyed when it is used. The earth has a limited amount of water. That water keeps going around and around and around and around and (well, you get the idea) in what we call the “Water Cycle”.
    This cycle is made up of a few main parts:

    a. evaporation (and transpiration)
    b. condensation
    c. precipitation
    d. collection (start again at a.)

    The water in your glass may have fallen from the sky as rain just last week, but the water itself has been around pretty much as long as the earth has!
    When the first fish crawled out of the ocean onto the land, your glass of water was part of that ocean. When the Brontosaurus walked through lakes feeding on plants, your glass of water was part of those lakes. When kings and princesses, knights and squires took a drink from their wells, your glass of water was part of those wells.

  54. mat says:

    where will we turn?
    common sense is my best bet. retard.

  55. Adam says:

    Oh come on people, don’t explain the joke. That just ruins it. Yes, people who are religious are ignorant.

  56. Sal says:

    im not sure if troling or retarded.
    but the laws of physics state that matter cannot be destroyed or created, what we have is what we got, matter can only be converted into something else. For example fossil fuels. The life forms on this planet are carbon based and with a help of time, pressure, and heat, is converted into crude oil, coal, or natural gas.That example is on a one of the many different ways our planet recycles matter (you, me, everything) on this planet. if you dont believe me look up the carbon cycle, the nitrogen cycle or the decomposition/ fertilization of trees, just to name a few.

    Also us creatures on this planets urinate. and that is 95% water maybe more. like a good propane selling texan once said ” we dont buy them just rent them”. LOl.

  57. justin says:

    this is so stupid it hurts

  58. AC says:

    this is the most ignorant thing i have ever read

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