Rainbows = GOD Is Having Gay Sex – NSFW

Posted by Kent Randi on September 9th, 2013 – 4 Comments – Posted in atheists, Personal Stories, religion

It’s Been Confirmed

When you see a rainbow, God is having gay sex.  I know because God said so.

Belle Chere Festival 2013

The WNC Humanists

had a booth during the 2013 Belle Chere Festival and while walking around with my family we noticed all the street preachers with their signs of damnation and hellfire.  Asheville, NC is a fairly liberal city on the Western side of a state that rivals Texas in it’s Conservative Fucktard legislators who demand we all love their Jesus.

Christian hateI was appalled by the loud mouthed preachers with their megaphones and amplifiers blasting the crowds with hateful and hurtful bronze aged rhetoric.

My heart hurt for those who took personally the hateful messages delivered by these screaming zealots.  On the way home we visited Walmart and picked up some poster boards and lettering with a plan to counter the ignorance the following two days of the festivities.

I had never done anything like this before.  I’ve never been involved in picketing or public displays of any kind and was excited to voice my defense in whatever way I could.  I called the President of the WNC Humanists and asked for permission so as not to represent them in a way that could hurt their good reputation.  I was given the green light and so we began designing our posters.

I got on Reddit and asked a few fellow Atheists for some catchy sayings and did a Google search as well.  We ended up making four signs that we felt would garner positive attention while countering the hate from the preachers messages.

Never Have I Felt So Loved

Belle Chere 2013As a father of many, I know how it feels to have a child run and hug my neck, “Daddy, I love you.”  It’s unexplainable, but on Saturday July 27th, I received more hugs, “I Love You’s” and “Thank You’s” than in all my life combined.  Literally hundreds hugged my neck or shouted Thank You!

Belle Chere is a music and arts festival.  It’s not some Gay Pride march or event.  But on this weekend, preachers from North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Kentucky and Tennessee came to lambast and damn to hell all of these beautiful people.  They perched on portable stands or raised platforms at every corner, holding signs with hate filled messages and screamed at all who walked by.

You Sir – Are Going To Hell!

I received some angry comments from a few passerby’s but nothing like what I received from one street preacher.  He was from Georgia or so he said during his introduction.  He preached for about 30 minutes and then after passing the mic off to another ass hat he comes over to me, leans in close and says,

“You Sir, are going to hell!  I will laugh from Heaven as I watch the Devil fuck you with his 7 headed dick.  I will enjoy watching you scream in pain as he rips your asshole open.”

Apostrophe "S"

Apostrophe “S”

He stepped back and I smiled at him and told him “thank you”.  I thought of a million other retorts afterwards but at the time, I was simply amazed and at a loss for words.   He had actually said, “fuck” “dick” and “asshole”.

One crazy fucker in a wife beater came up to me screaming about how there are kids present and that I should be ashamed.  I just smiled and held high one of the posters.  He continued on about how the message was evil and that I would go to hell.  Seeing my lack of response or remorse, he became louder and louder until he eventually points his finger in my face and screams…

Let me ever catch you alone and I’ll FUCK YOU till you scream for Jesus!

This made me laugh but I kept a close eye on him as he hung around for awhile.

One tall preacher stood behind me holding a sign above mine and no matter where I moved he would follow.  Then it occurred to me, I bent down as if taking it up the ass and he moved off, never to return.  I was so proud of myself.

I Really Learned Something

Hear Me - Hear MeOr more like a few somethings.  I never understood or could relate to the hate demonstrated towards someone who is the “wrong” color or has sex with or in a position unbecoming to some imaginary friend.  I knew people didn’t agree but I never realized or appreciated the condemnation and ostracization certain people must endure to live among the ignorant, hateful religious zealots.

I grew up Mormon and felt separate from my Christian peers because I was not a “real” Christian, but I never experienced such hate.  My heart hurts for those that endure the ridicule, hate and injustices they receive because they don’t adhere to some fictional moral code.

All In All

God Hates FactsI felt like a hero.  Of course it swelled my pride and bolstered my ego to take part in such defense.  This from a man who grew up thinking the same of homosexuals, from a man who didn’t want to have anyone near me that could potentially infect me with the gayness.

I felt guilty for not realizing sooner, for not becoming an Atheist and Humanist sooner.  I still beat myself up over the fact that it took me 38 years to reach reason and logic.  But it came and it came with a vengeance.  I questioned everything, human rights, morals, sin, spirituality – everything.  Now almost 5 years later, I am still learning and working to make the world a little better.

Countering The Hate With Breasts

topless in Asheville

 

Some moron came up and hit the preacher here with 2 pies.  I quickly set down my signs and retrieved some paper towels for him.  I stood there holding his glasses while he wiped down his face and shirt.  He didn’t say thank you but did tell me that I was still going to hell.

Live in the area?  Consider joining the WNC Humanists and the WNC Atheists.

  1. Roymcm says:

    Fantastic.

    A job well done.

  2. Jim Newman says:

    Hey, check out our new gay laces for our soccer shoes. Now hopefully god will have gay sex while we’re playing soccer and a rainbow will appear over us!

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