Where Does It Say Breed Like Flies?
Post By Jim Newman
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The Huffington Post headlines “Contraception Mandate Outrages Conservative Religious Groups.” The bill says patients have the right to have it paid for by their insurance. Church leaders whine they shouldn’t have to provide for contraception in insurance because they don’t believe in it.
There are a number of things I don’t believe in, which shouldn’t be covered by insurance either:
- Cancer caused by smoking, drinking, meth abuse, or other drug use. Good in moderation, stupid in excess.
- STDs caused by not using a condom. Everyone should use a condom until committed to a partner or tested regularly. If they don’t, oh well.
- Motorcycle and bicycle head injuries. Pay the consequences for that freedom.
- Any disease caused by overeating. Now that we know how dangerous it is, fat people who can’t get their weight under control should deal. Pay for dieting but if you quit, you are on your own.
- Any injury to a criminal in jail. Why are we helping them? Where is the incentive to behave?
- Any injury incurred illegally. If Gingrich gets depressed from philandering, no Zoloft and especially no Zanex, and keep him away from Rush Limbaugh.
We could save gazillions if we didn’t treat people’s immoral actions and patent stupidities! And it would be righteous!
Wait… You say that’s not what insurance means? It’s not a political or religious agenda? It’s not a means of controlling peoples morality?
Well then, why does the church care? The article states 90% of Catholics use contraception. That’s definitely out-of-control, rampant contraception use. They do seem really angry.
“Bishops in more than 140 dioceses issued statements that were read at Mass last weekend. Bishop William Murphy of Rockville Centre, N.Y., called the requirement “a radical incursion on the part of our government into freedom of conscience.” Bishop David Zubik of Pittsburgh wrote that “the Obama administration was essentially saying `to hell with you,’ particularly to the Catholic community by dismissing our beliefs, our religious freedom and our freedom of conscience.”
So preventing nonCatholics access to birth control is saying “to hell with you.” Is there shit in my ears? Isn’t it the Catholics that are saying to hell with you if you do use birth control? My intolerance of people who don’t agree with me is a radical incursion into freedom of consciousness?
I am having a vision! god demands us to be thin, as Bod4God folks know. Being fat is immoral, worthy of hell. I refuse to serve any fat people—and I’m not so sure about the ugly ones.
“The U.S. Health and Human Services Department adopted the rule to improve health care for women. Last year, an advisory panel from the Institute of Medicine, which advises the federal government, recommended including birth control on the list of covered services, partly because it promotes maternal and child health by allowing women to space their pregnancies.
This bill makes people healthier. It allows women control of their reproduction. Well, clearly that’s a mistake. Women haven’t had control of their bodies for millennia. Why would we change that tradition?
Well, all that namby-pamby, girl-coody stuff aside, do ya mean it’s true that spacing children apart makes them more healthy? That doesn’t sound natural. God made us and besides that’s what abstinence is for. If you want to space them out you’re supposed to lactate longer—oops, that doesn’t always work, hmm.
Don’t want kids, don’t have sex. Who said it was supposed to be fun? It’s for procreation and every time you do it, you should ensoul an egg. Or at least be trying to.
Whoaaa. Let me see. The bible is a biggg book. What does it say about breeding like flies, I mean birth control? I do remember something about being fruitful and multiplying… exponentially? And when does that end—death or infertility? Geez, no wonder Hitchens says women have no sense of humor. I’d be pissed too!
I am so confused. There is nothing in the bible on birth control. Nothing! Nothing, I tell you, nothing! Wait, this Christian bible-reading site says it’s because they didn’t have birth control back then. No, it says modern birth control.
“Modern birth control methods were unknown in Bible times, and the Bible is, therefore, silent on the matter.
So, by that logic, nuclear weapons, germ warfare, and global annihilation are Ok because they are never mentioned explicitly in the bible? Anything new or modern is up for grabs? That explains the inquisition and its love of the rack… new technology; not mentioned; next.
This site goes on to show that god loves children—but I’m not sure where it says how many or how often:
“Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.”
And when
“Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Ahaa, I thought so. There is a reason for kids. To have warriors! Having children is about getting more soldiers. I suppose that means men and not women. Women should be at home breeding more soldiers. This seems like the most honest quote I found.
In Luke
and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!
Fertile women are blessed. If you can’t have children you are not blessed. Poor barren bitches.
In Samuel
And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”
Ahaaa, here we go. He grieves that she is sad because she can’t have ten sons. Is that because it is assumed that one has ten sons or is that because she is grieving too much? No, the Lord closed her so it’s all good. Wait, she isn’t blessed now and worthless. That’s why she’s pissed. No heaven for her.
He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!
I guess that would be a miracle or is that because women were bred so young and so often they didn’t get pregnant every time they had sex.
From Jeremiah:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Aaah, now I get it. God knows every child in advance.
“When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister. She said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die!” Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?”
So god is in control of the whole fertility thing, Married people should have all of the sex in the world. It is up to god when sex produces children. It’s not the bible saying don’t use birth control, explicitly. Rather it says god knows what egg is going to be fertilized and become a child. God is responsible for all of the miscarriages and nasty births. We just don’t know why.
Wouldn’t that mean that all modern medicine is wrong? God is in control of who lives or dies. We could save tons of money if we just stopped medicine. Modern medical drugs are a sin against god! It’s not like those foolish Christian Scientists that say it’s all in your head. It’s that we’re foiling god when we heal people. It’s god’s intention that they be sick! Or he wouldn’t have made them that way. What arrogance to mess with his plan. That would really solve our overpopulation problem too!
This is so much more clear. I knew I would find the answer if I just read the bible.
God wants soldiers and he will decide when sex creates a kid.
Those Catholic popes. They are always one step ahead of the rest of us. I guess that’s why they get to go to heaven and we don’t.
What about how often we should have sex? Wait though. This first.
If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.
Awesome. So there is a special relation between brothers. A woman has to marry and breed a brother if the other dies. What if a sister dies? Can the other sister breed with the husband? Hmmm, that’s not mentioned anywhere.
Odd, Onan couldn’t do it.
Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also.
Selfish bastard. He wasn’t willing to pimp or serve for his dead brother because he wouldn’t be able to keep the child. Aaah, here’s birth control, but it’s not modern…
I find this is claimed to be the text showing masturbation is a sin. I had no idea masturbation is withdrawal. You learn so much when you read the bible.
Wait, Catholics aren’t supposed to read the bible. Just carry it around and read the psalms and proverbs, highlighted by the priest. Nice. That makes it much easier. Otherwise the bible is so confusing.
So, it’s the priests that say we shouldn’t practice birth control and not the bible. Never mind. They must be right or god would change their thoughts.
I no longer wonder why conservative Protestants mistrust intellectuals. With clergy scholars poring their brains out so badly in bald faced lies, I’d hate them too.
Jim Newman, bright and well
www.brightpride.com and www.frontiersofreason.com
